One Wild and Precious Life

Life is Amazing Sometimes!

My friend Fran is participating in the "A Virgin a Day" meme, and today she posted a picture of Artemis of the Ephesians.  Now Fran saw the ancient statue in Turkey (where Ephesus is located), but I saw this one in Naples:

I like to think of her as the "missing link" between paganism and Christianity in Italy.  Can you see how a culture who worshipped this figure above (her hands, feet, and face were replaced in bronze in the late Nineteenth Century, so I'm not sure if they were originally black), could easily adopt and adapt to a figure like the one following?

Actually the Lady above is in Einsiedeln, Switzerland -- but in the foothills of the Alps, the countries kind of run together, with no cultural boundaries at all.  It's "mountain culture," rather than identifiably Swiss or French or German or Italian.  Or how about this one, below?  She is across the border and in the Alpine foothills on the other side, in Oropa, Italy:

 

It seems to me that these dark, feminine figures have more in common than they are different.  On the Artemis figure, her headdress, arms, and skirt are lined with figures of humans and animals -- how radically different is that from those black Virgins, carrying the Christ Child?  At the very least, these black madonnas must have seemed like familiar figures to a goddess-worshipping Italian culture.

And speaking of my friend Fran, here's another amazing thing that has happened this week.  In her post a week or so ago, she mentioned my blog.  Well, someone who was reading her blog just happens to live in my town!  Out of the blue I got an email from this person, and we had lunch, and now I have a new friend!  I have a "Mary friend" right here in this town.  We're both passionate about the Virgin Mary (mine in the guise of my beloved black madonna, of course) -- and we have lots and lots and lots of other things in common!  I wish you could have seen us at lunch, talking about a million miles an hour, with so much to share.  So thanks to a friend way out west, I have a new friend here on the Cumberland Plateau!  What fun!  More than fun -- there's delight and joy in finding a new person to share with, in this bible-belt community where they mostly only pay attention to the Virgin Mary at Christmas, then they put her away for another year.  Thanks, Fran.

One of the best things about friends is what we share with one another, and how we grow and are inspired by knowing one another.  I would not have this new friend Donna if it weren't for my friend Fran.  And now I have someone to share Mary with, but also spirituality, and art-making, and life here in this part of the world.  Can you tell I'm thrilled?  Thanks, Fran!  Thanks, Donna, for following up and writing to me, and thanks to the both of you for bringing me again into blogland for a visit and inspiration.

Goats

Okay, my friend Fran posted this You-Tube of goats on her blog.  It was so darned cute that I couldn't resist sharing it with you.  I also put it on ny facebook, but I can't get a picture to share with you.  It's very cute, though -- go watch it.  I have parishioners who raise goats, and she describes one stage of "kid-hood" as deet-dee-deet-dee-deedley-deet."  That's what these babies are doing.  If you watch this video, you'll also see links to lots and lots more of them.  What fun!

My friend Fran also is immersed in lots of art-making.  She is a trained facilitator for Soul Collage, and makes really fine pieces herself.  I miss doing that, and may drag out my own collage book and work on a page.  This is, of course, a way to avoid what I really need to be doing, which is gathering, wrapping, and mailing Christmas gifts, finding who's left gift-less on my list, and making plans to purchase and send those gifts, post-haste.  I'm terrible about gifts, and mostly get them out before Epiphany.  Some years, if things are busy at church, I admit I don't get them out at all.  That's especially egregious as my friends and family are so very good about making sure that I have gifts to open on Christmas morning, since my holidays are spent mostly alone.  There's nothing nicer than coming in after Midnight Mass and opening a gift or two before bed.  Then I rewrite my sermon for the morning as I listen to carols, and fall into bed, only to get up Christmas morning for another service.

My Buddhist book group was cancelled today because an ice storm is expected.  We're studying Pema Chodron's Start Where You Are, one chapter per month -- and the chapters are really short!  But I'm finding that the month really gives me time to make the material part of who I am, part of my own thought process.

I find much of what Chodron says to be helpful in my dealings with other people, and in my parish work.  For a long time I've felt as though there's great overlap between Christian spiritual or wisdom teaching and Buddhist teaching.  This was first brought home to me when reading Thich Nhat Hanh.  Marcus Borg also refers to it in Reading the Bible Again for the First Time.  There are lots of conservative Episcopalians who would find my saying this horrifying, but it's true -- anyone can see it, if they take the time to do a little reading and study.

It has been so cold here that I've been drinking lots of hot tea -- decaf chai, whole milk, no sugar.  I make it in my coffee maker -- just run hot water through into the pot where the tea bags await.  A pot can last me a day or even two sometimes.  I use 8 bags for 10 cups of hot water, and just leave the bags in till the tea is all gone.  It doesn't get bitter or too strong.  Or maybe my taste buds are just failing me!

Everyone stay safe and warm, and pray that no harm or damage come to us up here on the Plateau, if the ice storm really hits.

'Tis Advent

Comin' on Christmas now.  This is the eve of the First Sunday of Advent, and in the Church, as is our Jewish heritage, we may begin to celebrate the day on the eve of the prior day.

This is my Advent wreath this year.  I have a simple brass ring that I generally place in a tray or bowl and decorate to suit.  This year I have the ring set on a platter with a raised lip, and filled with a base layer of privet, then holly from my holly tree on top.  The purple berries around the edges are also privet.  I may have to change everything out in a week or two, depending on how everything holds up in the house-- but I sure like the look of it now.

This year I'm using liturgical purple, rather than blue.  Blue is the Sarum (English) use, which has come into favor in the Episcopal Church in recent years, because it emphasizes our particularly English heritage.  Some years I like blue, but this year it's purple.  I've got to learn to stage my pictures better, removing binoculars and birdwatching books!

Here's my Christmas wreath, decorated simply for Advent for the next 4 weeks.  In this picture, that ribbon looks as blue as anything -- but it's not!  That ribbon is a deep purple.  It must be the light, just before twilight.  On our Advent wreath at church, which is a big, beautiful, horizontal brass one, we have some interesting elements added: cinnamon, straw, boxwood, orange peel, holly, and maybe a couple of other things.  They all have symbolic significance, and we have a parishioner who puts them on every year, along with pretty purple bows.  I really appreciate Dorothy doing that so beautifully each year; it adds depth and meaning to our Advent season.  This year I may make my own little bundles and add them to my door wreath; if I do, I promise to take pictures and explain all the symbols.

As for the wreath, come Christmas I'll decorate it more festively -- with a bright ribbon, or holly, or perhaps with the sweet little garland I bought last year with tiny mittens hanging from it.

I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving celebration.  I ordered a wonderful organic, free-range turkey (yes, expensive, but truly worth it).  I was alone for the day, and so decided to make only the foods I like:  turkey, cranberry-orange-walnut relish, rolls, cream cheese dip for veggie sticks, stuffing (truly stuffed inside the turkey, to absorb all the lovely juices), gravy and this year, a pumpkin pie.  It was all perfectly delicious, but for the first time I realized how perfectly excessive it was.  Keep in mind this is a girl who survived (and thrived!) most of the summer on cereal for breakfast and a big late-afternoon salad.  Yes, I've been feasting for 3 days now, and will continue to do so when I make the soup from the carcass.  But no one individual really needs (or wants, truth be told) that much food.  It's almost sickening, even as I continue to stuff myself.  A friend, also alone, bought herself two turkey thighs, one potato, and some veggies.  I'll do that at Christmas, probably -- substituting stuffing for potato.  I froze nearly half of what I made (turkey, relish, and stuffing) this month -- maybe I'll just thaw and heat next month.

In a weird way, it feels good to notice and be disgusted by the excessiveness.  I think it's the first time I've been aware of it.

For a Sunday Advent class, we're reading and discussing Marcus Borg's Reading the Bible Again for the First Time.  It's available used for as low as $1.51 in paperback.  Amazing.  I like this book so far.  Maybe I didn't tell you the story of my new philosophy of adult Christian education in this parish.  It's a little long, but kind of funny.  One of my strengths as a priest is as a passionate teacher of things spiritual and theological.  When I came to this parish, my understanding was that they longed for someone who would educate them.  I was thrilled.  Except for the Wednesday bible study, which is growng steadily, I get a very low turnout (3-6) for my adult ed offerings.  I've been steadily frustrated and crushed by this, having spent long hours designing and preparing courses and materials.  One day I realized that I was led by the search committee, and especially by those individuals who visited me in Buffalo, to believe this parish was longing for education.  And two of the three who visited me (and with whom I had hours of extended conversations at the time) were in fact people who were avid for education -- but they did not reflect the overall demographic of the parish!  And they are both gone now, having moved away to be closer to their adult children.

Initially I was angry at the lack of response to my hard work.  Then (also in anger, I think) I just stopped offering anything but the bible study, which I love, and the participants also love.  Recently I realized that I love to teach, and also to learn in a community of learners.  I love book groups.  So I decided to offer exactly the sorts of things I enjoy doing, and then to enjoy whatever the turnout, because I'm doing something I love.  Last "term" I did a course called "Bible 101," poorly attended, but I had fun.  This "term," for Advent (that's where I began this post), we're doing the book discussion, over a casserole lunch.  Last week was our first week, and 3 people attended -- but we ate together and discussed together, and what fun we had!  So we'll spend 3 more weeks on this (including next week), be free for Advent 4, when we'll decorate the church for Christmas, and have fun along the way.  I haven't read this book, but like Marcus Borg, and so far am enjoying it immensely, even when I disagree with him (which isn't often).

So okay, there it is.  This is the first time I've transferred an image from the web to my blog, so it's a new learning for me.

That's about it this week.  I'm waiting for the coming of Christ.  I'm waiting for the final coming, as well.  I'm trying to figure out why those of us who believe it, are so nervous about it.  Maybe it's our guilty conscience.

My friend Fran, who inspires me regularly, has suggested that I publish a link to my sermons, and I think I will do that.  I did it one time, I think, but why not every week -- that way I'll be sure to get at least one post each week, won't I?  My sermon for tomorrow is finished, but I always do one last once-over on Sunday morning, so I'll post it tomorrow.  I have a list of folks who receive it each week by email, but if you're reading this blog, my guess is that you'd prefer a link from here.

Be well, my blog friends.  I've got lots of reading to do for tomorrow, so I'll be about that now.  I hope you all can set yourselves apart from the pre-Christmas season of frantic-ness, and just take time to reflect on "the reason for the season," whether that is a Christian reason, or simply the joy of giving, of family and loving relationships, of gratitude spilling over into generosity, or whatever it may be for you.  Don't let the culture drive you, but rather take the time to let the season feed your soul.

Autumn

Summer has come and gone since I've written.  But I've been reading my friends' blogs again, and it has inspired me to return.

Since the 3rd of June, my last post, much has happened.  I've had a birthday.  I've lost 27 pounds.  I've been on vacation.  It has been a wonderful summer, though very hot!

For my birthday I was in Indiana and Illinois, visiting family.  I had a wonderful time.  I had delicious strawberry shortcake at an urban church's strawberry festival, a huge affair where over 10,000 desserts were served!  I told them about my little church's festival in May, where we serve about 350.  But it was the same wonderful feeling of a church doing ministry all together, feeding the whole community.

My sister-in-law's yard was in fine form.

 

This is looking toward the neighbor's house.  SIL has had the landscapers in, and they've worked hard on it all.  Here's where I sat in the mornings to write in my journal:

On my actual birthday, I had lunch with 4 high school friends, two of whom I literally have not seen since high school graduation.  We were all part of the same crowd in high school, attending one another's slumber parties, crying on one another's shoulders, playing soccer with a crushed up soft drink can in front of the gym, and laughing till we cried on more occasions than I can count.  It fed my soul so to see them, and was truly the best gift I've received in a long time.  That night I went to dinner with my sister-in-law and her friends at a lovely Italian restaurant located right in the Terre Haute airport.  I had chicken piccata that was to die for, as I watched through the huge windows when a huge, bellowing, blowing, lashing rain storm swept across the tarmac.  I also watched videos on big screens showing scenes of Italy -- and it was such fun to say, "I've been there -- and there! -- and there!"

I had lunch one day with my brother Paul -- the only one still alive (my brothers were all 12+ years older than me).  He seemed his frisky old self, now a year after his beloved wife of many years died.  Ramona, we still miss you.

Then, in July, I went to Buffalo for 2 weeks, staying, as always, with my best friend in the world.  We had such fun!  She has the best little veggie garden on her upper front porch, and we ate a few things from it while I was there.

This is actually a shot from last year, so I got her pretty flower boxes (that we planted together), but not the veggie garden, in the corner where I'm standing to take this shot.  This year the porch was even more beautiful than last.

We spend weekdays at the campground, lazing along and barbecuing, going to the beach late in the afternoon and catching up on our reading (I read the first 2 Steig Larssen books, and two books about compulsive eating, which gave me much food for thought).

Oops, ignore that man -- it's Cheryl's partner and my good friend, Tom!  But you can see the camping trailer where we stay and the pretty, shaded lot where it's parked.  And this is what we saw every night we were there:

Oh, I'm not even sure this is a good example of the best of them!  But the campsite is literally steps from the lake (maybe 100 yards?), and after dinner it was delightful to walk down together and feast our eyes on the beauty of it.

On weekends, when the campground filled with noisy campers and many noisy motorized vehicles of various sorts (golf carts, ATVs, go-karts, motorcycles, and the beach with ski-dos and motorboats), we came back into town (about a 45-minute drive) and did city things, such as the stunningly beautiful Buffalo Garden Walk, movies, and parties with the girls.

Okay, this is a shot of Cheryl and her pretty table -- but quite frankly, when I was with the girls, I was having so much fun that I forgot to take the "girlfriend pictures" of all of us together that I love so much!

I drove home a happy woman.  We ate healthy, wonderful, fresh food, grilled meats, and drank lots of water (along with other libations!).  I maintained my weight -- even lost a couple more pounds.  My soul was filled with good friends and happy times.  I went to church at two cool churches, and got to talk to two cool priests that were new since I lived there.  Ah, it was the vacation that I needed last year and didn't get, because I was too busy in California and too sick in Buffalo.

Yes, I've had bothersome allergies on and off all summer.  But I learned to manage them!  Triumph!  Claritin-D is the antihistamine that works for me with minimal side effects (I believe different ones work best for different people), and also Nasonex nasal spray.  I've had to keep my house closed up and the cooling system fan running all the time, which is a great disappointment for me, as I love nothing better than open windows and fresh air blowing through, when it's cool enough.  But this is how I managed to keep things well under control, so I did not have a recurrence of the bronchitis that laid me so low for two months last summer.

So now I feel rested and energetic again.  This is a testimony for at least one good, refreshing vacation each year, and preferably two.  I've continued to lose a bit of weight, though the heat in Tennessee has resulted in me being less active during August, and now even into September.  My yoga studio closed, so I haven't done yoga regularly, either.  So the weight loss has slowed, and I'm struggling again.

My friend Susan (who's also our parish secretary) gave me a great 18-speed bike she wasn't using, and I've ridden it a few times.  Funny, though -- when I was in my 20s I did not own a car, and my only transportation was a bicycle.  I rode it everywhere, at first with my daughter in a little seat on the back, and then later, she followed me on her own little bike.  My 10-speed bicycle truly was almost like an extension of my own body.  It's not like that now in my late 50s, I can tell you!  It was a great surprise that riding uphill (on this very hilly Plateau) was difficult, even in the lowest gear!  What has happened, except for 3 decades and 80 pounds?  Huh?

But I am energized and excited about the season to come at church.  We're doing 4 sessions on Sunday morning about Christian healing, and it's a lively group of 6 of us.  The Bible study on Wednesday is finishing up our very long study of Exodus, and that's exciting, too.  This is the first time we've attempted a formal study of the "biblical theology" of a book of the bible (though I tend to think that's what we actually do each time we meet), and it's exciting to see people finding the theological themes or loci in the book, and learning more about God, more about humankind, more about judgment, compassion, and grace, as we review what we've discussed.  We'll soon wrap this up and our next study will be the Gospel of Luke.  I've started reading "The Wisdom Jesus" by Cynthia Bourgeault, and think maybe I'll have a book discussion on that for our next Sunday series.  Can you tell I'm well rested and ready to roll?

Just the last bit of wonderful news from my autumn is that my friend Sandi got a new Kindle for her anniversary, and she has given me her old one, already loaded with maybe 100 books, mostly detective novels!  What fun I'm having with it!  What a generous heart, for her to give me such a wonderful gift.  So I'm reading Steig Larssen's third ("The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" -- I was waiting for it to come out in paperback), and next is the Sue Grafton "U" book.  Yay!  Lots of fiction to supplement the nonfiction that I'm also enjoying.

Now the colors are changing in my yard, and I'm about to uproot my dear veggie garden and reduce it in size by about half.  I'll keep the rhubarb, grapes, and herbs, and try to coax the asparagus to life again next spring.  But it's being reduced from a large, rectangular plot, to a smaller triangle.  The dear parishioner who built my gate is going to help me move my fence, and I've got to get out there and weed and remove the raised beds, so the job can be simply done.

I'm sure all of you are stopping to enjoy the fall.  Take time just to be in a few delicious moments -- as many as possible.  You'll never live these particular days again!

Holiday Weekend

Wow!  I checked a lot of categories; I guess I have a lot to say tonight.  It's the eve of a holiday for me -- not exactly a "holiday weekend," as my title implies, but a day off my normal routine, at least.  Ordinarily, it would have been Friday, Saturday, and Monday off, with only the morning service at church.  But this week I had a wedding rehearsal on Friday (with rehearsal dinner afterward), the wedding itself Saturday morning (with reception luncheon afterward), and two sermons to write, one for the wedding, one for Trinity Sunday at church.  So all I get is a day, but ah, what a lovely day I've got planned!  But sigh -- I don't think the weather is going to cooperate -- 60% chance of rain tomorrow. 

When I was a little girl, my mother and I would go camping on Memorial Day Weekend; it was the opening of the summer camping and recreation season.  Our habitual haunt was Raccoon Lake State Recreation Area, about 1/2 hour from our home.  We would set up our tent in a campsite just inside the edge of the woods, so there was plenty of shade, and plenty of trees from which my mother would string rope to hang large sheets of plastic.  The plastic sheltered our campsite from rain, but also from any debris that might fall from the trees.  It made a cozy, covered "living space" under which we'd place our picnic tables, our food and supplies, and our Coleman camp stove.  The campfire would be outside the plastic "roof," of course.  My camping memories are lovely ones, but it nearly always rained on Memorial Day weekend.  There was usually enough sunshine and warmth to make the adventure worthwhile, but yes, we got rain, too.  Memorial Day Weekend was always punctuated with the plip, plip, plip of raindrops on the plastic overhead, with a wet sleeping bag where our canvas tent got wet, and the need to wear warm jeans, socks, and a sweatshirt, rather than the brand new swimsuit and flip flops I had for the summer. So tomorrow will remind me of my childhood camping days, I fear.

Some of the things I've planned I can still do inside, rather than outside on my porch:

A little creative work can certainly be done inside, though I confess that it really feels more like carefree play when I'm on the sunny back porch.

But there are also lots of things that can't happen inside, and almost certainly won't happen.  I can't really burn my brush pile at all, because we got a couple of downpours today.  It really takes 2-3 days of dry weather to dry out my brush well enough to burn, especially since some of it is still fairly green and recent trimming, and some fair-size logs that I pulled out of the wood chips that were given to me.

I'm not going to want to wrestle wood-chip mulch for my labyrinth in the rain.

I'm not sure even one whole day could make much progress in my veggie garden.  I was actually going to pay someone to come and help me clear out the jungle that it has become, but he called a couple of days ago and said he's been in an auto accident, and now he really can't help me.  If I still want help, I'm going to have to find someone else.  Of course, the pouring rain is a pretty good time to pull weeds -- lots of nice, soft earth, if I don't mind getting filthy and soaked (but that's the gardener's lot, anyway!).

So this probably isn't going to happen for me tomorrow, but I may get something done:

Oh, my, but it looks so lovely and orderly!

But perhaps I'll get a run with the dogs in between rain showers.  My weight loss is continuing; I'm still keeping my rules about increasing activity and eating salads and not drinking alcohol (though I had 2 glasses of wine at the wedding rehearsal dinner).  I'm a little frustrated because I seem to have hit a plateau last week, despite good behavior (I do expect it after 14 pounds, and am surprised it didn't come sooner!), and now over the weekend, I ate and drank more than I should have, even though I came home and was a perfect little paragon of dietary virtue.  So that scale isn't really budging just now -- but it will again, O it will!  A new indulgence I've discovered is Crystal Light Sunrise Tangerine Strawberry.  Oh, yum, yum.  I've known about Crystal Light since the first time I went to Weight Watchers in 1989, but I never tried it until just a couple of weeks ago.  Oh, my.  Oh, yum.  It kind of reminds me of having a pitcher of Kool-Aid around when I was a young married girl.  My only caution is that I can just about overdose on Aspartame, if I'm not careful.  And despite what I heard at Weight Watchers oh, these many years ago, it really doesn't substitute for good, clear, filtered water.

Today, of course, I preached on the doctrine of the Trinity, since it's Trinity Sunday.  If you're even slightly interested, I highly recommend Karen Armstrong's latest, The Case for God.  She does a really, really great job of describing the development of the doctrine of the Trinity, which was originally intended as a spiritual exercise that, rather than being fully understood, was meant to show us how utterly incomprehensible God actually is.  We were never meant to understand the Trinity.  And furthermore, faith originally had little to do with intellectual comprehension and agreement, but rather with loyalty and commitment.  Whether I understand the Trinity, whether I agree with the Church's doctrine of the Trinity, I stand behind and within it, and I commit my whole being to the Triune God and the teachings of Christ.  That's all that really matters!

While we're talking about books, I'm also listening to a really great one.  Most of my fiction "reading" is done in the car as I drive on my daily errands, visits, and meetings.  I'm currently listening to The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  It's one I can barely "put down" -- I want to just keep driving and driving so I can hear more and more of this story.

So tomorrow I plan to sleep in (which seems to mean about 7:30 these days, since I go to bed so early), get some exercise, and do some creative work.  I plan to play a lot and work just a little.  I might get some yard work done.  I feel very grateful for this good little life of mine.  I hope you all have something delicious planned for your day off!

Well, Okay, It's Pentecost...

...and I'm finally back!  Don't even ask me where I've been, what's taken so long.  I've been mostly around, but distracted by ever so very many things.  I did attend a short conference in Newark last month, quite inspiring and informative.  My role there was as Board Chair for our church's Jubilee Ministry, the Cumberland Adult Reading Council.

Otherwise, I've been struck down with allergies for about 6 weeks.  Now, I'm not someone who has had allergies, but as I get older (and yes, fatter), these things bother me more and more.  I got to feeling absolutely sick with them -- in fact, I thought I was sick, at first.  Of course, I was ignoring the yellow film of pollen that coated every inch of my house, inside and out.  It was my favorite season to have the windows open, the air and heat both turned off, and fresh air blowing through.  When I finally realized that allergies were the problem, not illness, I decided that my focus needed to be on learning to manage them, since it seemed that I would have to live with them.  Everyone I spoke to said that the level of allergens in the air has been extraordinary this year, probably due to a long winter, a cool, delayed spring -- and everything deciding to bloom all at once!

So I read up on allergy management on the web, and I asked everyone I know.  I closed up my house and turned the fan permanently on (to filter and re-filter the air), I dusted my house thoroughly (well, I got my cleaning lady to dust and vacuum carefully while I was at the conference), I bought a neti pot, and I went in search of an antihistamine that didn't immobilize me.  Claritin-D is my magic pill.  I do know that different brands work for different people, but this one works for me.  Once I could put aside my resentment at even having allergies at all, and having to close up my house during the beautiful springtime, then I could accept the fact that lots and lots of people have to live with allergies and learn to manage them.  I was determined not to be incapacitated as I was for 2 months last summer.  And I did it!  I got through the very worst of the worst of allergy season.

Presently, though, I've been off my antihistamines for 4 days, and I can even lie down to sleep again (previously I had to be propped up to a nearly sitting position to sleep, to avoid that postnasal cough that laid me so low last year).  I've been sleeping like a rock, 8 hours straight and waking up groggy like I could sleep 8 more.  It feels so good to get good rest!

And I've been working outside.  The electric company gave me 2 truckloads of wood chips from their trimming up and down our highway, so I've got lots of mulch for paths and my labyrinth.  I've also started work to reduce the size of one of my front beds -- to much garden for me to maintain.  I have thriving black walnut trees that I have to uproot with a pitchfork and mattock -- the squirrels harvest the black walnuts that grow profusely around my house and the church, and they like to bury them in my flower beds!  Everything has been so unkempt, but this has been a glorious year for flowers!  Here are a few that I just shot today:

I think you can click on any of these to get bigger pictures.  This is just one tiny bit of what's blooming in my gardens -- you can see that the flowers are flourishing.  My veggie garden is another story, however.  Yes, I have rhubarb, raspberries, herbs, grapes, and one tiny, neglected asparagus that has gone to fern.  But I'm completely overgrown with ragweed, thistle, and other nasties.  I've got no annual garden veggies in, not even my beloved tomatoes.  Between allergies, busy-ness at church, the half-moved fence that I haven't finished, I just have not had the energy to tackle it.  In fact, I'm going to pay someone to renovate it for me!  I may get a few late crops in this year.  I'm so ashamed of it that I won't even take pictures of it.  But, as Anne Sexton really did say, "There is hope.  There is hope everywhere.  Today God gives milk, and I have the pail."  Things may yet happen.

And here are a few signs of hope:

Lots of promise here.  It looks like it'll be a good year for the sweet-tart English apples in the back, for grapes, for the golden delicious apples in the driveway, and yes, for wild blackberries in the part of the yard that never gets cleaned out, the part that faces the highway.  So yep, lots of promise, indeed.  Hope, indeed.

Oh, yeah, at church we also doubled the size of our gravel parking lot in two long, hot days:

 

The men's group also threw in some weeding and mowing with the job they did on the parking lot, amazing guys that they are.  I spent the first day fetching lunch orders, making fresh-brewed sweet and unsweet tea, serving donuts as a mid-morning snack, and making sure the water was iced and ready for thirsty, sweaty workers.  You'll have to enlarge these pictures to really see what's going on, but in the third picture, down by the dump truck, there's a tulip-poplar tree they left standing -- just for me!  They removed 3 other trees from that little cluster -- all growing too close together.  I hate removing healthy trees, but decided to bite my tongue, as the men were doing such a great ministry to the church.  What I discovered was that by being very meek, I won one healthy tree!  It was worth it.  Big-mouth little sister that I am, it has taken me nearly 58 years to learn the art of keeping my mouth shut once in a while!

We also had one heck of a great strawberry festival, the 3rd Saturday in May!

A really good time was had by all, we fed a record number of people, and also raised a record number of dollars for the church from this event.  It was a ton of work, but we all work together, and it really does bring us closer together as a parish.  I remind them each year of how it's such a clear sign of the Spirit working within and among us.

And finally, I want to tell you about my big project for the year, which actually subsumes a number of projects within its scope:  I intend to lose weight.  A lot of weight.  I reached a spectacular, horrifying, all-time high weight on March 5, 2010.  I got on the scale for what must have been the first time in months, and I almost passed out from horror at the number I saw.  No, I'm not going to even tell you what it was, but it was way too high.  Mind-numbingly, health-threateningly high.  And it took me a few weeks to figure out what I was going to do, but it was like waking up from a long, bad dream.  I realized, really realized for the first time that my mother's sister had Type I diabetes, and I see relatives all around me developing Type II.  I'm just pushing my luck and asking for trouble here.  I also realized that in 2 years I'll be 60.  Why would I head into a new decade, and into at least the threshold of old age, without giving myself every health advantage that I possibly can?  Why am I doing this to myself?

So I'll share my simple strategy.  It's not brain surgery -- we all know what to do.

• I've given up alcohol altogether for now.  I had a bad habit of drinking daily, or nearly so -- and I think it was playing hell with my metabolism and the way my body was processing carbohydrates.
• I've taken up activity again: walking and running with my dogs, yard work, yoga classes.  Since the time I was so sick last summer, my vigorous activity was sporadic to nonexistent.  No more.  The older I get, the more crucial activity is for my weight loss.
• I eat at least one salad every single day (with a very few exceptions).  I need the veggies.
• I'm drinking lots and lots of water and other non-carbonated liquids.
• I'm really working at getting plenty of rest.
• I'm thinking about trying Overeaters Anonymous in one or more of its several incarnations.
  

How's that for a start?  I have to say, I'm down 14 pounds from where I was on March 5.  I'm down a full size in clothes.  Now that I've really started the journey, about the first of this month, I'm losing at the rate of 3 pounds a week.  The more I lose, the more I'm motivated to lose.  The more I move, the more I'm motivated to move.  I hope I can lose at this rate for a while longer, though I know it will slow down as I lose more.  I hope to reach my goal weight by the end of the year.  What a gift I'm giving myself!

And my owls?  Three of the four are flying now.  Max, Pattison, and Austin are all flying as soon as the sun sets.  I enjoy the chat room community there, as well.  And little Wesley should fly within the next day or two.  Certainly by the end of June, they'll all be fully fledged and gone from the owl box.  I feel a little sad to think about the end of my journey with these owls.  I've been watching them since the day after the oldest one hatched.  I've seen them go from blind, pink, naked little hatchlings to darling, fuzzy little chicks, to nearly fully feathered adolescent owlets.  I've seen them take their first steps outside the box, seen them fly for the first time.  Now they'll learn to hunt, and then they'll be off on their own.

So yes, it's Pentecost.  It's the end of the Great Fifty Days of Easter.  Things quiet down around the church this time of year, and I begin to think about vacations and fresh tomatoes and cold glasses of unsweet iced tea.  I told my congregation this morning that Pentecost is the celebration of the coming of the Holy Spirit: the time when the Church received the last tool it needed to get on with living a Resurrection life.  And I feel that I'm living an abundant, fulfilling, Resurrection life myself.  I hope I'll post here more often this summer.

Most of all, I hope that all who are reading this are having happy, abundant lives, too.

The Weather Here, and Thus, More Travelogue

Well, in two days, the weather has gone from this:

...sunny, lovely, warm enough to go out and play on my front porch, rearranging and adding toys -- though the odd-looking white thing on the right is actually an "ice bowl" from a pot I left outside...

To this:

And this little guy:

...buried up to his catunkus in Christmas ornaments (the hanging ones are so much fun -- they sway and sparkle in the slightest breeze), looks like this, this morning:

"Glub, glub, help, save me!"  Yes, we have not only snow here, but ice.  It looks like a silver-gray fairyland out there (no sunshine to make it twinkle, though).  Thank God we still have power and are warm and dry in here, with another day off (my third in a row, oh, happy day!) ahead of me.  But you can see why I'm going to heartlessly leave this poor little guy to thaw out on his own, and go back to my sunny Italian pilgrimage.

Sunny, yes.  It didn't rain a single day of my 3-week trip.  Here I will inject a travel tip:  If you are a heavy person, prone to overheating and uncomfortable sweating in temperatures that others find "comfortable," or even "a little cool," don't take a lot of easy-wash, easy-dry nylon/spandex clothing with you.  It's lovely to carry fewer clothes, and clothes that don't wrinkle, and that can be washed out and dried overnight in your hotel room.  It was so very convenient.  But I was so damned hot all the time!  Had I been demurely sitting and sketching, like a refined 19th century madamoiselle on her Grand Tour, I would have been fine.  But hiking up hills and running after trains, hauling a rolling knapsack over cobblestones and wearing a heavy backpack with journals, tripods, and travel guides -- next time I'll take light cotton, and seek out laundromats.

So here I am in Livorno, pretty miserable with a cold, ensconced at the Hotel Citta.  I'm planning to head back north and east, to Bologna, Padua, and Venice.  I'm seriously re-examining my itinerary.  It's Tuesday, September 29, the 8th day of my trip, and I'm realizing that I simply can't see and do all I'd intended.  The more northerly locations could easily consume another week of my trip.  It's clear that if I stick to my original plan, I'll probably not get anywhere south of Rome, and certainly not to Sicily.  I'm determined to get to Sicily!  So it's here in Livorno that I start slicing and dicing my itinerary.  I'd love to return to Venezia; I'd love to visit Santa Maria Salute.  But it's clear that everything is taking longer than I thought.  And that's fine.  This is a pilgrimage and a study trip, but it's also a vacation after a long period of illness, and right now I'm still sick.  I'm not willing to haul myself out of bed at the crack of dawn in order to race to see three madonnas before lunch (well, that's an exaggeration, but still).  As it is, I'm having great adventures, seeing lots of beautiful sights that I didn't see in 2005, and getting lots of writing and reflection done.  I have no one to speak to, so I find myself speaking a lot to myself, on the pages of my journal.  I'm already halfway through the small journal that I brought with me!

So I decide to travel across the width of the country and go to Loreto, because I certainly don't want to miss that -- probably the most famous religious shrine in Italy.  So off I go.  I changed trains in Florence, and even in the station, you could feel the atmosphere of that beautiful city.  I actually heard other people speaking English!  It felt warm and gracious and honeyed, and I longed to stay, but pushed on -- I didn't even have enough time to walk out onto the streets.  I didn't even take any pictures.  No, I continued on, bound for Loreto.

Getting off the train in Loreto, I find myself in a pretty little town, but I'm still miles from the shrine itself.  It's about 2:00, and the bus driver (who's sitting there on his bus) tells me he's not going anywhere till 4:00 (16:00 in Italy).  So I walk around a bit, find a grocery store, buy myself some lunch and a bottle of red wine, and wander a bit more.  Eventually the bus takes me to the shrine: up, up, up the mountain.  Funny, after two millennia of Christianity, we're still "worshipping in the high places."  In the Old Testament, God doesn't seem to like that very much -- but we humans just keep striving to get a little closer to heaven, I guess.

When I get to the shrine, I find another whole little town, built up around the church itself.  There are lots of hotels for pilgrims in all price ranges, souvenir shops, groceries, and the usual pharmacias and tobacco stands (that sell everything from postcards to playing cards, and especially bus tickets).  I find a suitable hotel, right next door to the tourist office.  The hotelkeepers are rude, but I don't care.  I get a room with 3 twin beds, and go exploring.

You know, I told you last night that this photo was Montenero.  I don't know what happened to all my photos (at least the ones I thought I took) of Montenero.  I may have them on a flash drive somewhere.  But I thought this looked like Loreto, and now in the light of day, yes, it is Loreto.  See the pretty shops along the right, including a sidewalk cafe.  And directly ahead is the Loreto shrine itself, which fully contains a small structure that is, legend has it, the house of the Virgin Mary, transported by angels from the Holy Land at the end of the Crusades.  Modern scholarship confirms that the stone structure is identical in composition and workmanship to the grotto that remains in Nazareth, that is also reputed to be the home of the Virgin Mary.  Modern scholarship also found a deed of transfer for the structure, made out to someone named "Angelis," thus the confusion with the angels.

Anyway, within that structure is the little black madonna that is Our Lady of Loreto, probably one of the most famous black madonnas in the world.  I do not have photographs of her, since I was able to buy reproductions in the souvenir shops.  But here is a picture that I took in Rome, in a shrine dedicated to her there:

 

I truly am sorry about the blurriness.  I promise that the next time I go I will take better equipment and use it more professionally.  The rough brick wall at the left of this photo is reminiscent of the rough stone of the actual shrine in Loreto.  I did learn that the actual statue of Our Lady was carved after a fire destroyed the original in 1921.  That was a great disappointment.  My next quest is to try to find photos of the original statue.  Without her dalmatic (the liturgical clothing in which she is dressed), the newer statue really has an art-deco look about her -- I wonder what the earlier one looked like?

The thing that struck me about the shrines I visited was the devotion of the pilgrims.  In Loreto there were people of all colors, kneeling devoutly on the stone steps inside the shrine.  There were people at lots of levels of physical ability, of course -- because the Loreto shrine is renowned for its healing properties.  Despite the commercialism, despite the hype, these shrines all feel like very holy places.  Someone told me Thursday that the prayers and devotion of every pilgrim who ever visits a shrine remains there, and I believe it.

So I bought some prosciutto, fruit, bread and cheese for my dinner, and retired to my room.  I was just recovering from my cold, and so I needed my rest.  I ate, I drank half my wine, and I retired early.  The street outside my room was very noisy, and it was only the antihistamine and ibuprofin that allowed me to sleep.  The next morning I was off to Rome.  I met a very nice German man who spoke excellent English, and so we had a nice conversation while we waited for the bus back to the train station.  Rome will have to await another entry.  But thanks for the chance to revisit warmth and light and adventure.

Happy Summer!

Once again, it took a friend to remind me that I haven't been blogging in some time!  I'm sure you all can identify with the way the days just fly by for me, slipping through my fingers.  Every day I think of this blog, and plan to write something; and I try to keep up with reading all of yours, too, but I seem to go from one thing to the next, and one of the "things" I get to isn't getting a blog post done!

As I said, I've been busy.  And it's full summer here on the Plateau, and that means hot and humid!  So I've been doing lots of indoor activities, like shopping and napping.

At the end of last month, I went to a collage workshop that was given by a couple of women who are in my spiritual directors' peer group.  The theme was on the various questions that Jesus asks in the Gospels, and two that caught my ear were, "What do you want me to do for you?" (answer:  take away my fearfulness), and "What are you afraid of?"  The boards we used were the centers cut from mat board -- wonderful material on which to collage.  Rather than naming my fears, I chose to make affirmative statements, because I knew I would want to focus on it.  Here's mine:
Hell's bells, I'm not happy with this picture, but it's the best I could do.  I'm sure it's my editing of it, but I'm not going to mess with it now.  If I did, it would be another month before I got a post done.  Oh, well.  Live and learn.

I wish you could read the words and see the pictures better.  You can see the bright colors, which make me feel positive.  Under the "Freedom" is a beautiful dove.  Above that it says, "Choosing Faith Over Fear," and the little strip below the chalice says, "breakthrough."  The little orange card at the lower right is a quote from Robert Louis Stevenson:  "To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive."  Making this small, simple piece reminded me how important it is for me to do even simple creative projects.  I'm grateful for the reminder.

I've been shopping for my Italy trip.  Got a good leather knapsack, some lightweight tops (to wear with lightweight skirts I already have), some good walking shoes.  I'm busy plotting out my itinerary, and finding more and more black madonna sites that I'd like to visit.  I've got a summer's worth of research to do before I can even decide where I need to stay.  Got a recommendation from a friend to check out Hostelling International, and for 18 bucks (yes, I qualify as a senior) I think I'll join.  Most hostels offer single rooms, and the prices are excellent.  I'll continue to explore monasteries, as well.

You can see that my gardening is happening in fits and starts:

The front porch is still a work in progress.  I've filled three big pots, and still have a window box to do.  Then I have several backyard planters; meanwhile, the plants are languishing, poor things.  I need to set them into a tray of water, at least.  There!  I just took ten minutes to do that -- maybe the poor babies will live to grow another day.

I keep working at things in bits and pieces, but that seems all I'm capable of and have time for right now.  Lots keeps happening on the church front, including lots of folks in the hospital.  I'll get it all done before I go on vacation in late July, though -- I'm sure of that.

The veggie garden is thriving, including the weeds.  I've got all kinds of baby veggies, and with the heat has come the tremendous growth spurt I expected.  Rain has been forecast every day for ages, and some folk on the Plateau are getting it, but it seems to pretty much skip over my little corner of the world.  This morning I got about 8 drops of rain before I walked the dogs, then maybe a 10-minute shower during the 8:00 am church service, and that was it.

This is the fullest view of the veggie garden I could get in a pinch.  In the lower right corner, barely visible, are my grape tomatoes and Italian parsley.  I'm pretty sure it's all weeds on the lower left.  The next bed in has beans and bell peppers -- the beans are really taking off, beginning to blossom.  They look like they'd like something to climb on, even though they're supposed to be bush beans.  Last year they were in the bed at the bottom of this picture, and the deer ate them nearly clear down to the ground.  Not this year!  They don't munch much on tomato plants, so that's what went near the fence.  The patch of dirt at the bottom is Swiss chard that hasn't sprouted yet.  The third bed from the bottom has all tomatoes, except for 2 bell papper plants.  The tomatoes are Romas and Better Boy.  Beyond that are watermelon, and beyond that, my strawberry bed.

You can see that my "Spicy Globe" basil is thriving -- about time to clip some (I have two plants) for my tomatoes.

I'm eating lots of tomatoes these days.  They're available, juicy and ripe, in all the fresh produce stores.  It's a minor competition around these parts, to see who can get their tomatoes in earliest, and get them to the farmer's market, or garden center, or produce store, or farm stand, the soonest.  I've failed miserably at that, getting most of my stuff in after Mother's Day this year -- a really safe, "sissy" date to plant.  The best trick I've heard is to put some fresh cow or horse manure beneath a thin layer of soil in the bottom of your planting hole -- the manure is "hot" enough to warm the roots of your plants and encourage them to grow, even at pretty cold temperatures.  And you've got built-in fertilizer!
Look at the teeny baby cuke!  I've actually got one bigger than that on this plant, but still a few days too small to harvest.  This one will be full-size within a week, probably.  They grow really fast!  And that's a good thing, because I'm learning about using cucumber slices in place of crackers for cheese spreads.  A friend gave me some local chevre with Italian herbs, and yum!  Unfortunately, I'm doing a 2-week, low-carb food plan, and can't have those lovely, buttery and crunchy little crackers.  So cucumber slices are not too bad as a substitute.  I'm also eating quite a bit of salad, and enjoying the cukes and those ripe, juicy tomatoes in salads.  Soon I'll have them from my very own garden!

Here, happily, are some little bitty grape tomatoes.  Yum, yum, they're my favorites!  I am so glad that I went to the garden to take these pictures, because I hadn't seen anything but grapes and the one cuke so far, and I was getting worried (why do I do that?).  Now I'm much reassured that I will have produce this year, probably more than I can eat.  Have I told you here that I freeze my tomatoes by sticking them whole or cut into chunks into quart or gallon size freezer bags?  If you chunk them, unless you freeze them spread out on a cookie sheet first, they're going to stick together -- so I usually put the chunked-up ones in quart bags.  But the whole tomatoes don't stick together, and so I freeze them in the gallon bags, and then just pour out as many as I need for a soup or sauce.  No, I don't blanch or peel them first.  Yes, I have to contend with (or ignore) peels at cooking time.  But the romas can be dropped one-by-one into hot soup, then speared almost immediately with a fork, and the skins slide right off.  I almost always consider the skins as "bonus fiber" and leave them in, unless I'm making something fancy.
I promise, this is the last veggie photo, though I have some other non-veggie photos to share, too.  Aren't my grapes just wonderful?  I can't remember if they're the reds or the whites, but the other vine didn't produce very well.  The only bad part about these lovelies are that they hang on the outside of the fence, and if the birds don't get 'em before I do, I'm afraid that the deer will!  But this is the first year I've had any significant production of grapes at all.  Last year I had one very small bunch, very good, but very small, and that was it.  So this year I'm thrilled.

Now, just a few more pictures.  Do you need another beer, or glass of iced tea, or something?  Now would be the time to get it.  I can't help it -- once I get going, I have a hard time stopping.  Next time I'll try to find something more interesting to natter about.

Now, isn't this bee balm pretty?  Last year a neighbor, a gardening buddy, gave me bee balm and bright pink yarrow, and I put them in this "nursery bed" until I could figure out what I wanted to do with them.  Look how big they've grown!  Somehow I thought they would be knee high, and instead, they are shoulder-high.  I love them.  It has been a great year for flowers on the Plateau, probably owing to a cool spring and lots of sunshine.  I'm also going to post a closeup of the bee balm, because it's so pretty, and so unusual-looking.  No simple daisy-shapes here!

Doesn't it look like some kind of strange, alien thing?  I love it.  Very delicate.

Now I have only one more picture I'm going to share with you.  I took a couple more, but I do want you to see a problem I'm facing in my back yard.  My predecessor here planted some very beautiful, very invasive variegated bamboo.  It's everywhere, and I can't get rid of it.  I have a corner bed that has many interesting things planted in it, bordered by boxwood.  You'll see in the photograph that the bamboo is taking over everything, and you can barely even see the boxwood.  I can cut it down, of course -- did last year, which caused it to grow up even thicker and more beautiful than ever.  I may try to rescue the plants that are struggling to coexist in this bed -- but I'm afraid if I move them, I'll bring along shards of bamboo, too, and it will soon invade elsewhere.  I could spray it with poison, but I hate using poison, and would probably kill everything else growing in this bed (Solomon's seal, hostas, a Japanese painted fern, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't even identify).  I don't want to kill everything, but I'd sure be happy to get rid of some of this bamboo!

Isn't it pretty?  Isn't it lush?  Can you find the boxwood?  Nope.  How about the hostas and other stuff?  Sigh.  I'm about to just give the whole bed over to the stuff, and abandon all hope and all the other lovely things there.  Sob.

So just one more thing.  The low-carb food plan I referred to.  I'm on day 9 of 14.  It's Dr. Phil's Rapid Start Weight Loss Plan.  It's only a jump-start prelude to his much more moderate and wise weight loss plan, which I intend to follow.  Basically the Rapid-Start Plan is carbs (breads and grains) only at breakfast, small portions of everything but veggies, and just a little fat.  In 9 days I've lost 6 pounds -- not too bad, though I'm pretty sure I did as well in my first week of Weight Watchers, way back when.  But the thing is, I finally decided that I should quit waiting for a hero to come along and save me from myself -- I guess I'm going to have to step up and be the hero of my own life (I think Elizabeth Gilbert used that in "Eat, Pray, Love").  Losing weight is difficult, but it's not rocket science: eat less and move more, right?  So I've ramped up my runs to 45 minutes, 5 days a week, and continue to try to get to yoga 2-3 times a week.  I want to do a little weight work at home, too:  building fat-burning muscle, and all that.  I've got to get some weight off so I can dress more comfortably, fly to Italy more comfortably, and walk more comfortably once I get there.  I finally faced up to the numbers and now admit that I have about 85 pounds to lose.  Sigh and sob again.  But the good news is, that I'm doing it.  I always believed that I needed carbs to feel satisfied, and couldn't imagine a meal without a carb.  Of course, my mom was always a meat-and-potatoes kind of cook, meat, starch, and vegetable.  But if I do it right, I can be quite satisfied with minimal carbs.  It really is an addiction of some kind, thinking I need my bread!  So this week I've allowed myself to feel pretty smug.  I've done well, even in the light of temptations like the parish barbecue dinner, complete with potato salad and cake for dessert.  Skipped 'em both.  If I do it right, I don't even get cravings, though I've had them from time to time this week.  Five more days and I can have a glass of wine and a cracker with my cheese.

It's 49 years since my father died.  I miss him this Father's Day.

Now it's off to bed with my journal and my mug of ice water.  It has been a good day.  Happy solstice!  Happy summer!

The Mystified Gardener: Spring Fever

How can it be that I missed the first day of spring?  I'll tell you how -- I was outside, working hard, and didn't give the day a thought!  I love spring, love, love, LOVE.  Spring and fall are my two favorite seasons, and probably spring the most, though in this State (Tennessee) of hot, humid summers, seeing summer finally break is also a treat.  I've done my first gardening, and am seeing the results.  Look:

It's two of my first three rows of spinach, sprouting!  I've never had spinach sprout!  I think I always planted it too late -- it's definitely a cool-weather crop, and needs to be sown here very early.  I know, you can see that the soil is dry.  I thought I might hold out for rain, but I promise that tomorrow I will water it by hand, with tender loving care, even though it's supposed to rain on Wednesday.  I'm not going to risk it.  I should have done it sooner, even.  But I'm so thrilled to see it coming up!  While I'm out there, I'm going to till soil and plant 3 more short rows, as well as some lettuce and peas.  I'm planting things that don't grow high in the bed near the fence, because last year my green beans were decimated by deer!  I don't think they can reach in far enough to get to spinach and lettuce in this bed.  I'm also going to hang shiny CDs to startle them away.  People advocate smelly and even toxic repellants, but I just can't.  I'll try the old-fashioned stuff first.  I asked for those disposable aluminum pie tins on Freecycle, but nobody responded.  So I think shiny CDs (I have tons from AOL, otherwise known as AO-Hell) hung at frequent intervals might provide a deterrant.  We'll see.

Here's one more veggie garden shot: 

The rhubarb is up -- all 3 crowns of it!  I see some little pest has been at it already on one leaf -- but we don't eat the leaves anyway!  Now I've just got to get some compost and manure on it, as well as seeing to the grapevines, raspberries, strawberries, perennial herbs (rosemary and thyme, and sage in the front perennial bed), and especially the asparagus crowns.  The garden is way full of suspicious and menacing little holes in those beds -- maybe my fence didn't sink deep enough?  Hmmm.  Lots of work to be done there.

But this spring, I have a new love.  Yes, I've spent some time cutting brush and also thorny locust sprouts from the fencerow and the only growth that separates me from a fairly major highway.  And I've enjoyed that.  Some regular attention to these spaces could enhance my quality of life, seriously.  I'm very close to US (not Interstate) 70, which runs from who knows where to Nashville, and beyond.  Lots of traffic, except for the very wee hours of the morning (let's say from 2 till 5 am).  What I really would like is some kind of tall, soundproof barrier, like they use on the Interstates.  That's not going to happen.  So instead of the wild assortment of wild rose, locust suckers, hickory and oak starters from nuts the squirrels have buried, and those low plants with pointy leaves whose name currently escapes me (not agave -- what?), and poison ivy -- I'd like to cultivate a tall privet hedge from the privet that grows wild and invasively here.  The oak and hickory trees are fine, but I don't like the other stuff.  Some privet is coming up already, and all I need to do is let it grow.  Eventually someone could cut it down every 5 years or so, and it would grow tall and thick and give me privacy, at least, if not a bit of a sound barrier.  Also, out there in front, something is killing my hemlocks.  Since I refuse to use any kind of poison, my guess is that it's some pest, and they will all die eventually.  I'd love it if this strong and essentially evergreen privet would grow thick instead.

But I haven't told you about my new love yet.  It's a labyrinth.  For years, I've dreamed that this parish might fund and create a labyrinth on its grounds.  We have 18.8 acres, and about an acre of cleared space behind the church (partly for parking, partly just a clearing, but all underlaid with gravel, so not "getting stuck in mud" territory).  I dreamed of a labyrinth that might attract anyone on a spiritual journey in all of Cumberland County.  Well, no-go.  Before this year, people didn't have the knowledge, energy, or interest.  This year, nobody has the funds, either.  Within the last few months, I've walked a couple of simple, non-fussy labyrinths, one in the backyard of a colleague.  I've decided that I can do this.  I've researched patterns on-line.  I got an easy-to-construct, 7-circuit classical labyrinth.  Then, as I ran with my dogs one day, I found a nearly endless source of stone.  I have a clearing in my own backyard, in the wooded area behind the lawn, where I could construct this thing.  I decided to build myself a personal labyrinth, that I will happily share with all parishioners.  It's in my back yard -- well, in the woods right behind my back yard.  Here it is:

So far, so good.  It has really been fun.  I found the pattern from the internet, and I found a really good source of stone (a subdivision under development -- every time  you move earth on a mountaintop, you get lots of stone!).  You can see that I'm already running into "tree issues."  I'll eventually mulch the path with a variety of things -- wood chips, pine needles, whatever comes along.  But I've only laid out maybe half of it, maybe not even that, since the circuits get bigger each time around.  That's still lots of stone to gather and lay!  The paths are two feet wide, and I started out with an 8-foot diameter "seed pattern."  I'm loving it.

Other good spring news is that lots of things are in bloom around here.  Daffodils and hyancinths are in full bloom, and the earliest ones are fading already.  The cherry tree and quince are starting.  The viburnum by the front door is fading fast, as are the witch hazels and (plentiful) Lenten roses.  I have a pretty little star magnolia that got terribly damaged in our April freeze two years ago.  We had to cut back dead wood severely, but it did survive:
 
It's a little lopsided and considerably smaller than it was 2 years ago, but it has survived!  I like survivors (like me).  Behind it you can see the veggie garden, and behind that the woodsy-brushy screen that conceals the labyrinth.

I love having this much space.  I love it that the magnolia is in bloom.  Within a week or so the pink one behind the potting shed will bloom.  A few weeks later, I'll get something from the dark one (almost maroon) outside my back door.  I've been watching the courtship at my bird feeder  outside the dining room window.  It's all such a pleasure.  It's nearly time to fill the hummingbird feeders.

There's more gardening work than I can ever do by myself -- ever, ever, ever.  But I've decided once again to enjoy myself.  As long as it's fun and soul-satisfying, I'll do it.  I'll take little stabs at it here and there, time after time.  Nothing will ever be perfect, but in the gentle course of time, everything will be better than it is now.  Having my hands in the dirt is something I expect I'll need for as long as I live -- at least a bit.  Maybe eventually a raised bed or window box will be enough, but the dirt literally "grounds" me.  Gotta do it.

I hope you all know the satisfaction of tending living things.  I hope you can have the experience of feeding people with what you've grown with your own hands.  God does love a garden.

Lent

I love Lent.  It's the Church's time of "New Year's Resolutions," a time to examine oneself, and make a plan to address a shortcoming or two.  Shortcomings are those things that stand in the way of our fullest possible relationship with God, of course.  God absolutely longs to be in relationship with all of creation.  We humans erect barrier after barrier to that intimacy that is our true home.  Lent is a chance to live more fully into that relationship between creature and Creator.  It's less about sackcloth and ashes than it is about the mutual longing between Lover and beloved.

We had our usual Shrove Tuesday pancake dinner at church, and it was lovely -- 40 or so people gathered together to eat pancakes, celebrate Mardi Gras in our dignified, Episcopalian way (still with much laughter and fellowship), and just be "family" with this group of people who have chosen to worship and celebrate together on this mountain.  The men's group cooked; the women's group served.  I blessed the food, ate heartily, wandered around socializing (not the easiest thing for someone who's a classic introvert), and went home, satisfied in body and soul.

On Ash Wednesday we had two services, 10 am and 6 pm.  We had 45 people between the 2 services, which is extremely good for a weekday service, even a fairly momentous one, liturgically and ecclesiastically.  It's a big day in the Church, kind of like Good Friday in significance -- but for most of the world, it's really "just another day."  In between our services, I visited two parishioners who were hospitalized with heart problems -- I call these folks, with some humor, but certainly not to trivialize -- "broken hearts."  I've had a fair number of parishioners with broken hearts in the last few months, and it breaks my heart, as well.  Some weather their problems relatively easily, be they bypasses, stents, heart catheterizations, pacemaker implants, defibrillator implants, or whatever.  I see others grow more and more frail, recovering less and less quickly.  My parish is predominantly a retirement parish -- they don't get any younger.  People who were vital and active when I came here six years ago are, in some cases, quite frail, and several have died.  My people face the possibility of death on a regular basis.

But both of these Ash Wednesday hospital visits, one in town and the other in Cookeville (off the Plateau and 30 miles west of here) were delightful and precious, true gifts.  I can't tell details, of course, because of confidentiality -- but I will say that anointing people with oil and laying my hands on their heads for a prayer of healing is one of the greatest privileges I have as a priest.  And as my heart has broken right open in these last few weeks, I'm also privileged to be with people in a way that is holier than I ever could have asked or imagined.

As for me, I considered my own Lenten practice with due sobriety and reverence.  What I realized was that, rather than the typical season of quiet self-reflection, what I needed to do to honor God best, was to make this season a season of action, rather than inaction.  You can't imagine the amount of time I spend in relative inactivity:  sitting at my desk, meeting with people, reading, studying for church related things, or parked in front of the computer (like now!), the television, the Spider Solitaire game, or other mindless diversions.  I have discerned several very special calls from God (in my own view, at least), and also particular practices that make me the best person and priest that I can be.  I have tons of creative ideas that hardly ever come to fruition.  So I examined (there's the self-examination!) exactly which of all these things and ideas that I felt most passionate about, which things I felt most strongly called to do, which things would restore holy balance to my life.  I came up with six projects that I've dreamed of, written of, spoken of, and neglected to act upon.  Perhaps I'll tell you exactly what those six items are at another time -- just now they seem a little embarrassing in their simplicity.  I made a silly little chart, like we make for our children so they will do their chores.  I painted it Lenten purple and bought silly and pretty litle stickers.  I want to work on each of my six projects for at least 1/2 hour, at least 3 times a week.  That means 18 stickers a week for each of the weeks of Lent.  What fun!  I bought glittery shamrocks and chickies and bunnies and flowers.  I'm actually excited, in a silly sort of way.  I don't want to completely trivialize this -- project boards and progress stickers really seem to work for me.  They helped me do all the tasks I had to do for my spiritual direction program.  Today I did 2 things, and so I  now have 2 stickers on my chart (which is on a piece of poster board, 22x28 inches).  Who knows?  There might even be another sticker before I go to bed!

Today I also met with my spiritual director.  I drive an hour each way to see her -- it's a good thing that  I like to drive!  These monthly meetings are a chance to itemize all the times during the  month that I feel God has touched my life.  By the end of our meeting today, we were laughing, because I found myself saying, "Oh, and just one more thing -- just this one more thing, I promise....!"  There is great abundance in my life right now.  God is touching me often.  Sometimes it's the gift I receive from someone else.  Sometimes it's a creative idea (or two, or two dozen).  Sometimes it's a confluence of things that seem to all come at once, falling together, opening doors, making one or another path seem like it must be the true path for me.  Like another trip to Italy this year.  I haven't yet purchased my ticket, but I think it will happen.  O Happy Day.  O Happy Lent.  I'm so grateful.