I had my first insulting comment (which I have deleted) today. The commenter, Elaine Bosworth ([email protected]) begged to differ with my feeling of being "kind of pretty." Of course, I know that was a risky revelation to make on a blog, feeling actually good about myself, and I opened myself up to the kind of insult I might have received in high school, in rural Indiana, where people were ignorant. I do feel bad for her, and hope you will include her in your prayers -- she obviously needs them. People who make insulting statements are usually badly wounded and in need of help. Their view of the world, other people, and even themselves is usually badly distorted, and I thank God I don't live in their skin.
But it did interrupt (and delete) a long post I started about my practices of running, morning pages, and yoga that seem to keep my life on an even keel, and pretty much free of low-grade depression, which was a familiar friend in the past. Sorry I can't reproduce all that.
And I do want you to see some of the seductions of my badly neglected perennials. As you know, I tend to be a bit obsessed with my veggies, much to the detriment of the many flower beds my predecessor planted. So without the long commentary on things that have brightened my own world, I offer you these pictures from my gardens:
I'm sorry I lost my longer post on the benefits of running (short answer -- endorphins and being in the moment), morning pages (short answer -- problem solving and creative ideas) and yoga (short answer -- pure bliss from time to time, as well as a flexible body). I will share the cover of my journal, below. Also, I've surrendered to Round-Up, though I've resisted poisons in general in my yard. But dandelions in the cracks in my front porch, as well as poison ivy in my evening walking path, have led to my capitulation. I bid you good night, now, as the rain falls gently outside, watering my veggies (beans, peas, lettuce, and beets are up), and softening the ground for further weed removal.
My best friend, Cheryl gave me this journal for Christmas. Her note, which I keep taped inside, says, "...I could not NOT get you this one for you! It isn't that you need to be told these [things], but these are the things you DO -- and some of the reasons I admire you and you're such an inspiration to me!" This is from a woman who has knows me for 27 years now. And even though it appears to be something used at West Point, I'll take this sentiment any day over the comment I just received!
From your questionably, debatably, "kind of pretty" blogger....
Ann,
Thank you for the lovely photos, gorgeous flowers, and inspiring blog! They are more than a little pretty, as are you! Those who bring beauty into the lives of others are the truly beautiful ones--and make up for so much of the ugliness and pain in the world! I hope you continue to feel that you're more than a little pretty and I can't begin to tell you how much beauty you've brought into my life! (And do ignore the ugly ones, who bring poison and cruelty to others--or pray for them if you must, if you can. You're better than I am in that respect, and a true Christian in the way I understand it!) Love, Cheryl
Posted by: Cheryl | May 24, 2008 at 11:29 PM
Ann, dear one, you are pretty. And you are beautiful beyond words, as I've always known you to be.
Don't listen to the trolls. As you said, I'm sure she is wounded and hurting, and I'm afraid my response wouldn't have been as gracious as yours. Well, maybe after I'd removed the insulting comment, complained for a while to my best friends, written an angry post in response, saved it in draft, deleted it, and thought about what it all really meant to me. And who knows - maybe you did all of that. :-)
Great big hugs to you, dear lady. You are a gift and a grace, and I'm thankful you're here!
Peace and blessings,
hedwyg / warriormare
Posted by: warriormare | May 28, 2008 at 07:09 AM
The pictures, they are gorgeous. :)
Also, foo upon trolls, for they are sad and lonely people. I do try to pray for them...but it's hard. ('God, please smack her upside the head' doesn't count, alas...)
Posted by: Kate | June 03, 2008 at 04:06 PM
When we make our blogs public, no matter how benign, we are open for criticism. Some people are just so mean spirited--and some are actually ill. When I first started mine 4 years ago I found the occasional barb or downright insult to be maddening. I password protected because then I at least had the power to not subject the public to the meanness. I always e-maill the mean ones back to say "shame on you" but 99% of the time, the address is false and the mail bounces.
You are pretty, Ann, inside and out. Don't take this personally.
Posted by: Fran aka Redondowriter | June 03, 2008 at 10:57 PM