One Wild and Precious Life

Sermon for Lent 1 & Thoughts on Lent

Ash Wednesday is over, ashes duly administered and received (2 services) -- next year we'll likely try "Ashes to Go" (Google it -- there are hundreds of articles) -- but not a drive-through, though our church has a lovely circle drive that would be perfect for it!  I'm forming a worship planning committee that might help me decide where would be a good location to distribute early-morning ashes -- I wonder if McDonalds would let me stand at the drive-through?

For those of you not familiar with Lent, it's the 40 days (excluding Sundays -- those are days off!) preceding Easter.  It has traditionally been a time of fasting, penitence, and self-examination in preparation for Holy Week (the week prior to Easter, when the Last Supper, Jesus' trial, and his crucifixion took place).  When I was a kid growing up in the Episcopal Church, my Lenten practices were giving up candy and (when I remembered) stuffing coins into a "mite box" that was placed on a big cross on Easter Sunday morning and the money given to charity.  I've always found that observing Lent makes the glory of Easter and the Resurrection even more -- well, more glorious!  And sometimes some of the Lenten "new habits" actually stick.

Sometimes I've fasted during the day on Fridays, and this was always a pretty amazing experience, spiritually speaking.  Because of my abstinence and eating program, I've not tampered with my diet these last 2 years.

This year my Lent is packed, with a parish study of contemporary Islam as lived out in the US as well as my own study on the Rule of Benedict.  I'm using Jane Tomaine's book called St. Benedict's Toolbox (mine's on Kindle), as well as a couple of others: Esther DeWaal's Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict, and the Rule of Benedict itself.  The study is in conjunction with a religious community for which I am a Companion:  The Worker Sisters & Brothers of the Holy Spirit.  We are actually spending the whole year on this study, and Jane Tomaine will be featured at our retreat in April in St. Louis.

I'm really excited about this study (I know, I know, it won't set everyone's heart on fire), especially since a lot of our Episcopal Book of Common Prayer and our own particular approach to spirituality and spiritual formation are based on Benedictine monasticism.

Here are my sermons for both Ash Wednesday and Sunday:

Download Ash Wednesday B, February 22, 2012

Download Lent 1B, February 26, 2012

I hope you are all thinking about Lenten practices, whether giving something up or taking something on!  I'm avoiding what I should be giving up (television and the computer) by taking on something very virtuous (see above).

Goats

Okay, my friend Fran posted this You-Tube of goats on her blog.  It was so darned cute that I couldn't resist sharing it with you.  I also put it on ny facebook, but I can't get a picture to share with you.  It's very cute, though -- go watch it.  I have parishioners who raise goats, and she describes one stage of "kid-hood" as deet-dee-deet-dee-deedley-deet."  That's what these babies are doing.  If you watch this video, you'll also see links to lots and lots more of them.  What fun!

My friend Fran also is immersed in lots of art-making.  She is a trained facilitator for Soul Collage, and makes really fine pieces herself.  I miss doing that, and may drag out my own collage book and work on a page.  This is, of course, a way to avoid what I really need to be doing, which is gathering, wrapping, and mailing Christmas gifts, finding who's left gift-less on my list, and making plans to purchase and send those gifts, post-haste.  I'm terrible about gifts, and mostly get them out before Epiphany.  Some years, if things are busy at church, I admit I don't get them out at all.  That's especially egregious as my friends and family are so very good about making sure that I have gifts to open on Christmas morning, since my holidays are spent mostly alone.  There's nothing nicer than coming in after Midnight Mass and opening a gift or two before bed.  Then I rewrite my sermon for the morning as I listen to carols, and fall into bed, only to get up Christmas morning for another service.

My Buddhist book group was cancelled today because an ice storm is expected.  We're studying Pema Chodron's Start Where You Are, one chapter per month -- and the chapters are really short!  But I'm finding that the month really gives me time to make the material part of who I am, part of my own thought process.

I find much of what Chodron says to be helpful in my dealings with other people, and in my parish work.  For a long time I've felt as though there's great overlap between Christian spiritual or wisdom teaching and Buddhist teaching.  This was first brought home to me when reading Thich Nhat Hanh.  Marcus Borg also refers to it in Reading the Bible Again for the First Time.  There are lots of conservative Episcopalians who would find my saying this horrifying, but it's true -- anyone can see it, if they take the time to do a little reading and study.

It has been so cold here that I've been drinking lots of hot tea -- decaf chai, whole milk, no sugar.  I make it in my coffee maker -- just run hot water through into the pot where the tea bags await.  A pot can last me a day or even two sometimes.  I use 8 bags for 10 cups of hot water, and just leave the bags in till the tea is all gone.  It doesn't get bitter or too strong.  Or maybe my taste buds are just failing me!

Everyone stay safe and warm, and pray that no harm or damage come to us up here on the Plateau, if the ice storm really hits.

Snow Day!

Oooh, it's snowing on the Plateau!  Snowing and snowing!  It has been snowing for just about 24 hours straight, without stopping.  Today it's very light snow, like powdered sugar -- but non-stop, nevertheless.  It's exciting!  Everything is closed, almost, and everything that can be cancelled in this part of the world, has been.

Brrr.  The wind is blowing, too, and the temperature is 13F.  Not quite a blustery day, but close.  You can see I've been out with the snow shovel; I've also been over to my office (all of about 200 feet away).  Earlier this morning I even took the car out for a quick trip to the grocery store; but mostly I'm staying inside and cozy today, doing some work from home, taking it very easy and enjoying the day off that everyone else is getting.

I'm thinking about a conference that I attended in October in Mississippi, one that I never took the opportunity to tell you about.  It's called CREDO, and is sponsored by the national Episcopal Church for active clergy (and also for full time lay professionals in the church).  This was my second CREDO conference, the last being 8 years ago.  CREDO stands for "Clergy Reflection, Education, and Discernment Opportunity."  It's a wonderful way that the church has developed to take care of its clergy.  We were at the Gray Episcopal Camp and Conference Center near Jackson, Mississippi, and it was for priests who all attended a previous CREDO, and who are roughly the same age and years of experience.  It lasted 7 days.  It was a great opportunity to reflect on where I've come, where I am now, and where I still want to go in my career and in my life.  They fed us well, gave us lots of information and food for thought, and assigned us to small groups where we could discuss our ongoing reflection and goal-setting.  Before we went, we were to have a physical exam and complete a health profile, fill out some (absolutely confidential) financial and vocational worksheets, and ask several people from our work life to fill out surveys about us.  This gave us some really valuable baseline information to contribute to the week's work, as well.

Here are some shots of the place we stayed:

This is what I saw out my bedroom window every morning -- mist rising over the lake.  Ethereally beautiful.

This is the labyrinth (with my shadow cast across it) where we could walk and meditate as we pondered our lives.

And this is the chapel where we worshipped daily.  The weather was perfect, perhaps just a bit too warm a couple of days, but we wore shorts and t-shirts most of the time.  The camp, located across the road from our section, had a swimming pool for our use, as well.

One evening, we went into Jackson for a nice dinner out.  The street where we ate still had the facades on the buildings that were used when "The Help" was filmed.  If you haven't read that book, you must.  I loved it.  Here are a couple of shots of the fun storefronts from the early 1960s:

You can't see what's playing at the Capri, but it's "Cleopatra," with Elizabeth Taylor.

It looks a lot like the streets of the town where I grew up.  Same era, too.

On the way home I went to see Graceland.  But I'll have to share those pictures and related reflections another time.

At the end of the conference, most of us had detailed goals and plans completed.  One of my biggest realizations from the conference is how isolated I've become here in my little corner of the world.  Little by little, this corner has, in fact, become littler.  I've become more and more alone, and it was all so gradual that I didn't even notice it.  I found excuses not to go out and be with people, as the little corner became very comfortable.  But God said, "It is not good for Adam (humankind -- not a man's name) to be alone."  And it's true.  So I've been making real efforts to incorporate other people into my life and activities.  Some of that is blogging here.  Some is about being in better touch with friends and family who are distant, and also with friends close at hand -- as well as seeking out new friends.  It has involved a little effort, a little stepping outside my comfort zone again.  We introverts can play alone very happily in our little corners, but we need others, just like the extroverts do.

Something I've noticed, since I recognized my own isolation, is that now I feel lonelier.  I think I kept those feelings locked up for a long, long time.  But sometimes I miss the people I love so much that I cry.  Eventually I think I'll be looking for employment that will bring me closer to those who have known me my whole life, or close to it.  It's funny how they all are more and more important, the older I get.  When I was a kid, or even up to middle age, I could flit off on my own adventures that took me far away:  Moving from Indiana to Buffalo, then off to Connecticut to seminary, then down here to the Plateau and this lovely little church.  But as I get older, and now especially that I've unlocked my lonely heart, being close to the old, good friends, and family who has known me my whole life, seems more and more important.

I'm eager to see how this new awareness unfolds in my life; it feels as though I've set off on another leg of my journey.

Everyone stay warm and dry, you hear now?

In the Doghouse, & First Day of Summer

At healing service today we had a sometime parishioner, just back from six weeks or so in New Zealand (he and his wife own a condo there, in Christchurch).  He informed me that in New Zealand, it's the first day of summer!  Interesting to hear the difference in hemispheres, just as it's truly starting to feel like winter here on the Plateau.

Someone in this family is in the doghouse today:

It's the one with the antlers (this taken 4 years ago, at Christmas).  Mr. Buddy, next to her, is a good and faithful friend.  But that white one, that Clementine....  Yesterday I got up from my reading and discovered that the back door had blown open, and darlin' Clementine had escaped.  When she gets out, she absolutely refuses to come, and stays outside for hours.  Yesterday it was nearly 18 hours, as a matter of fact.  She stayed close in the yard, after a time, but clearly wanted me to come out and chase her, which I refused to do.  I saw her last late last night, on the other side of the highway in front of my house!!!  But she could not be cajoled to come home.  So this morning there she was, sleeping on the ground outside the back door.  When she finally came inside she was soaking wet and had ice on her underside (it was cold last night, but her fur is very thick).  I noticed tonight when we walked, she was limping around a little bit from running around so long -- serves her right!

So she's home, safe and sound (I just caught her on the sofa, where she's not allowed), and I'll admit I'm relieved that she came home.  But I'm still mad at her, even so.

Today in book group we finally, finally finished Karen Armstrong's The Case for God

It was a great book -- brilliant, in fact.  But Armstrong is so obsessively verbose that it was difficult to read.  Our group as a whole did not like it because of her writing style, though we have read several of her other books (I found the verbosity annoying in the others, too, but they did not).  So now we go on to If God is Love by Gulley & Mulholland.  Well, we don't just "go on."  We have our annual cookie party next Tuesday, and then we break until after the holidays.

Time to write my gratitudes, walk the dogs, and get to bed!  Tomorrow I want to tell you about the conference I attended last month.

 

A Sermon, and the Rest of My Sunday

So this is the first time (well, this year at least -- I think I might have done it once before in nearly 150 posts) that I've posted a sermon.  I wish I had posted my Thanksgiving sermon with the previous post, but I didn't.  So today I'm posting links to two.  I seem to be obsessed with gratitude this week -- there are worse things to be obsessed with!

Download Thanksgiving Day C, November 25, 2010

Download Advent 1A, November 28, 2010

There they are!  Now you can read them if you choose, or not if you don't!

Speaking of gratitude, what a great day it has been!  Church was great.  We switch to Rite I in Advent (also Lent -- traditional, nearly Elizabethan language, a more penitential tone), and we do a lighting of the Advent candle(s) (only 1 today  of course) during the service.

Since it's the last Sunday of the month, I've begun to do anointing and laying on of hands for healing after the service.  This is really pretty popular.  Today, the third month I've done this, I had maybe 10 people, all of whom were anointed for themselves, a couple of whom also asked prayers for others.  I've got to say that this is one of the most fulfilling sacraments that I do as a priest (anointing is a sacrament in the catholic (small c) tradition).  I think God marked and called me as a healer even when I didn't know it, back when I was a therapist.  Now I do know it's not me who's the healer, really -- but I get to be the vessel through which God heals -- or at least reminds people of God's healing will for them.  I've always treasured our Wednesday service of Eucharist and Healing -- but this recent addition on Sunday is Also very precious and life-giving to me.

I love this Advent book group!  I love Marcus Borg (don't tell)!  His chapter on the prophets blew me away.  Part of what I love is his story of his own experience, how the various meanings and interpretations of the prophetic writings became layered and nuaanced for him.  It leads me to reflect on my own religious experience, and the layers and depth and nuance that is still a living part of my faith journey.  I took Old Testament in seminary with one of the primo Old Testament scholars in the world (specializing in the prophets, incidentally), and his parting message to us is that Scripture, while timeless, must be re-interpreted for each generation of Christians, so it remains fresh and relevant, rather than a dusty old book up on the top shelf in the library.  Borg's comments on the Exodus stories only reinforced what we learned and experienced with  the Kerygma study our group just did.  It's so amazing that this stuff lives and applies now just as much as it did then.

And then I came home, put my turkey carcass in the soup pot with carrots, onions, and celery (and some water, of course), and just simmered it all afternoon.  I've turned it off to cool; I'll put it in the fridge tonight, and tomorrow I'll skim off the fat, and also skim out all the bones and veggie scraps, feeding pieces of gristle and skin to my kids (the dogs, of course).  Then I can heat it all again, add some fresh veggies, spices, and some Minnesota-grown wild rice that someone gave me, and cut up a few chunks of the turkey meat (a good use for white meat -- is it clear I prefer the dark meat for sandwiches?), and have a lovely soup.  Yum, yum, my mouth is already watering.

After the carcass went on to cook, I took a big, deep sleep on the sofa, with BBC America droning away.  I don't know what was on while I slept, but as I awoke, I got to see another show about penguins.  I love penguins.  Those deep sleeps are a little harder to wake from, but so very good and restful and satisfying.

Oh, and before that, I spent considerable time watching C-Span.  I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, because I'm sure most folks think C-Span is very boring or nerdy.  But I watched a panel from Emory University discuss raising the tone and quality of public discourse, and a couple of book discussions.  I find this even more compelling than "Sleepless in Seattle."  What's wrong with me, that I'd prefer watching  P.J. O'Rourke, with whom I don't even agree (but he is kind of cute), to Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan?  It just seems to feel really good to get my brain cells tickled once in a while.

Then this evening I watched TV for a while (some network dreck for my "junk food" quota, then a couple of amazing PBS shows, one called "Christmas in Yellowstone" that was awesome).  I did some reading and journaling, and now talking to all of you.

Overall, I couldn't really ask for a better Sunday.  Yay!  I hope to talk to you all more than I have till now.

'Tis Advent

Comin' on Christmas now.  This is the eve of the First Sunday of Advent, and in the Church, as is our Jewish heritage, we may begin to celebrate the day on the eve of the prior day.

This is my Advent wreath this year.  I have a simple brass ring that I generally place in a tray or bowl and decorate to suit.  This year I have the ring set on a platter with a raised lip, and filled with a base layer of privet, then holly from my holly tree on top.  The purple berries around the edges are also privet.  I may have to change everything out in a week or two, depending on how everything holds up in the house-- but I sure like the look of it now.

This year I'm using liturgical purple, rather than blue.  Blue is the Sarum (English) use, which has come into favor in the Episcopal Church in recent years, because it emphasizes our particularly English heritage.  Some years I like blue, but this year it's purple.  I've got to learn to stage my pictures better, removing binoculars and birdwatching books!

Here's my Christmas wreath, decorated simply for Advent for the next 4 weeks.  In this picture, that ribbon looks as blue as anything -- but it's not!  That ribbon is a deep purple.  It must be the light, just before twilight.  On our Advent wreath at church, which is a big, beautiful, horizontal brass one, we have some interesting elements added: cinnamon, straw, boxwood, orange peel, holly, and maybe a couple of other things.  They all have symbolic significance, and we have a parishioner who puts them on every year, along with pretty purple bows.  I really appreciate Dorothy doing that so beautifully each year; it adds depth and meaning to our Advent season.  This year I may make my own little bundles and add them to my door wreath; if I do, I promise to take pictures and explain all the symbols.

As for the wreath, come Christmas I'll decorate it more festively -- with a bright ribbon, or holly, or perhaps with the sweet little garland I bought last year with tiny mittens hanging from it.

I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving celebration.  I ordered a wonderful organic, free-range turkey (yes, expensive, but truly worth it).  I was alone for the day, and so decided to make only the foods I like:  turkey, cranberry-orange-walnut relish, rolls, cream cheese dip for veggie sticks, stuffing (truly stuffed inside the turkey, to absorb all the lovely juices), gravy and this year, a pumpkin pie.  It was all perfectly delicious, but for the first time I realized how perfectly excessive it was.  Keep in mind this is a girl who survived (and thrived!) most of the summer on cereal for breakfast and a big late-afternoon salad.  Yes, I've been feasting for 3 days now, and will continue to do so when I make the soup from the carcass.  But no one individual really needs (or wants, truth be told) that much food.  It's almost sickening, even as I continue to stuff myself.  A friend, also alone, bought herself two turkey thighs, one potato, and some veggies.  I'll do that at Christmas, probably -- substituting stuffing for potato.  I froze nearly half of what I made (turkey, relish, and stuffing) this month -- maybe I'll just thaw and heat next month.

In a weird way, it feels good to notice and be disgusted by the excessiveness.  I think it's the first time I've been aware of it.

For a Sunday Advent class, we're reading and discussing Marcus Borg's Reading the Bible Again for the First Time.  It's available used for as low as $1.51 in paperback.  Amazing.  I like this book so far.  Maybe I didn't tell you the story of my new philosophy of adult Christian education in this parish.  It's a little long, but kind of funny.  One of my strengths as a priest is as a passionate teacher of things spiritual and theological.  When I came to this parish, my understanding was that they longed for someone who would educate them.  I was thrilled.  Except for the Wednesday bible study, which is growng steadily, I get a very low turnout (3-6) for my adult ed offerings.  I've been steadily frustrated and crushed by this, having spent long hours designing and preparing courses and materials.  One day I realized that I was led by the search committee, and especially by those individuals who visited me in Buffalo, to believe this parish was longing for education.  And two of the three who visited me (and with whom I had hours of extended conversations at the time) were in fact people who were avid for education -- but they did not reflect the overall demographic of the parish!  And they are both gone now, having moved away to be closer to their adult children.

Initially I was angry at the lack of response to my hard work.  Then (also in anger, I think) I just stopped offering anything but the bible study, which I love, and the participants also love.  Recently I realized that I love to teach, and also to learn in a community of learners.  I love book groups.  So I decided to offer exactly the sorts of things I enjoy doing, and then to enjoy whatever the turnout, because I'm doing something I love.  Last "term" I did a course called "Bible 101," poorly attended, but I had fun.  This "term," for Advent (that's where I began this post), we're doing the book discussion, over a casserole lunch.  Last week was our first week, and 3 people attended -- but we ate together and discussed together, and what fun we had!  So we'll spend 3 more weeks on this (including next week), be free for Advent 4, when we'll decorate the church for Christmas, and have fun along the way.  I haven't read this book, but like Marcus Borg, and so far am enjoying it immensely, even when I disagree with him (which isn't often).

So okay, there it is.  This is the first time I've transferred an image from the web to my blog, so it's a new learning for me.

That's about it this week.  I'm waiting for the coming of Christ.  I'm waiting for the final coming, as well.  I'm trying to figure out why those of us who believe it, are so nervous about it.  Maybe it's our guilty conscience.

My friend Fran, who inspires me regularly, has suggested that I publish a link to my sermons, and I think I will do that.  I did it one time, I think, but why not every week -- that way I'll be sure to get at least one post each week, won't I?  My sermon for tomorrow is finished, but I always do one last once-over on Sunday morning, so I'll post it tomorrow.  I have a list of folks who receive it each week by email, but if you're reading this blog, my guess is that you'd prefer a link from here.

Be well, my blog friends.  I've got lots of reading to do for tomorrow, so I'll be about that now.  I hope you all can set yourselves apart from the pre-Christmas season of frantic-ness, and just take time to reflect on "the reason for the season," whether that is a Christian reason, or simply the joy of giving, of family and loving relationships, of gratitude spilling over into generosity, or whatever it may be for you.  Don't let the culture drive you, but rather take the time to let the season feed your soul.

Autumn

Summer has come and gone since I've written.  But I've been reading my friends' blogs again, and it has inspired me to return.

Since the 3rd of June, my last post, much has happened.  I've had a birthday.  I've lost 27 pounds.  I've been on vacation.  It has been a wonderful summer, though very hot!

For my birthday I was in Indiana and Illinois, visiting family.  I had a wonderful time.  I had delicious strawberry shortcake at an urban church's strawberry festival, a huge affair where over 10,000 desserts were served!  I told them about my little church's festival in May, where we serve about 350.  But it was the same wonderful feeling of a church doing ministry all together, feeding the whole community.

My sister-in-law's yard was in fine form.

 

This is looking toward the neighbor's house.  SIL has had the landscapers in, and they've worked hard on it all.  Here's where I sat in the mornings to write in my journal:

On my actual birthday, I had lunch with 4 high school friends, two of whom I literally have not seen since high school graduation.  We were all part of the same crowd in high school, attending one another's slumber parties, crying on one another's shoulders, playing soccer with a crushed up soft drink can in front of the gym, and laughing till we cried on more occasions than I can count.  It fed my soul so to see them, and was truly the best gift I've received in a long time.  That night I went to dinner with my sister-in-law and her friends at a lovely Italian restaurant located right in the Terre Haute airport.  I had chicken piccata that was to die for, as I watched through the huge windows when a huge, bellowing, blowing, lashing rain storm swept across the tarmac.  I also watched videos on big screens showing scenes of Italy -- and it was such fun to say, "I've been there -- and there! -- and there!"

I had lunch one day with my brother Paul -- the only one still alive (my brothers were all 12+ years older than me).  He seemed his frisky old self, now a year after his beloved wife of many years died.  Ramona, we still miss you.

Then, in July, I went to Buffalo for 2 weeks, staying, as always, with my best friend in the world.  We had such fun!  She has the best little veggie garden on her upper front porch, and we ate a few things from it while I was there.

This is actually a shot from last year, so I got her pretty flower boxes (that we planted together), but not the veggie garden, in the corner where I'm standing to take this shot.  This year the porch was even more beautiful than last.

We spend weekdays at the campground, lazing along and barbecuing, going to the beach late in the afternoon and catching up on our reading (I read the first 2 Steig Larssen books, and two books about compulsive eating, which gave me much food for thought).

Oops, ignore that man -- it's Cheryl's partner and my good friend, Tom!  But you can see the camping trailer where we stay and the pretty, shaded lot where it's parked.  And this is what we saw every night we were there:

Oh, I'm not even sure this is a good example of the best of them!  But the campsite is literally steps from the lake (maybe 100 yards?), and after dinner it was delightful to walk down together and feast our eyes on the beauty of it.

On weekends, when the campground filled with noisy campers and many noisy motorized vehicles of various sorts (golf carts, ATVs, go-karts, motorcycles, and the beach with ski-dos and motorboats), we came back into town (about a 45-minute drive) and did city things, such as the stunningly beautiful Buffalo Garden Walk, movies, and parties with the girls.

Okay, this is a shot of Cheryl and her pretty table -- but quite frankly, when I was with the girls, I was having so much fun that I forgot to take the "girlfriend pictures" of all of us together that I love so much!

I drove home a happy woman.  We ate healthy, wonderful, fresh food, grilled meats, and drank lots of water (along with other libations!).  I maintained my weight -- even lost a couple more pounds.  My soul was filled with good friends and happy times.  I went to church at two cool churches, and got to talk to two cool priests that were new since I lived there.  Ah, it was the vacation that I needed last year and didn't get, because I was too busy in California and too sick in Buffalo.

Yes, I've had bothersome allergies on and off all summer.  But I learned to manage them!  Triumph!  Claritin-D is the antihistamine that works for me with minimal side effects (I believe different ones work best for different people), and also Nasonex nasal spray.  I've had to keep my house closed up and the cooling system fan running all the time, which is a great disappointment for me, as I love nothing better than open windows and fresh air blowing through, when it's cool enough.  But this is how I managed to keep things well under control, so I did not have a recurrence of the bronchitis that laid me so low for two months last summer.

So now I feel rested and energetic again.  This is a testimony for at least one good, refreshing vacation each year, and preferably two.  I've continued to lose a bit of weight, though the heat in Tennessee has resulted in me being less active during August, and now even into September.  My yoga studio closed, so I haven't done yoga regularly, either.  So the weight loss has slowed, and I'm struggling again.

My friend Susan (who's also our parish secretary) gave me a great 18-speed bike she wasn't using, and I've ridden it a few times.  Funny, though -- when I was in my 20s I did not own a car, and my only transportation was a bicycle.  I rode it everywhere, at first with my daughter in a little seat on the back, and then later, she followed me on her own little bike.  My 10-speed bicycle truly was almost like an extension of my own body.  It's not like that now in my late 50s, I can tell you!  It was a great surprise that riding uphill (on this very hilly Plateau) was difficult, even in the lowest gear!  What has happened, except for 3 decades and 80 pounds?  Huh?

But I am energized and excited about the season to come at church.  We're doing 4 sessions on Sunday morning about Christian healing, and it's a lively group of 6 of us.  The Bible study on Wednesday is finishing up our very long study of Exodus, and that's exciting, too.  This is the first time we've attempted a formal study of the "biblical theology" of a book of the bible (though I tend to think that's what we actually do each time we meet), and it's exciting to see people finding the theological themes or loci in the book, and learning more about God, more about humankind, more about judgment, compassion, and grace, as we review what we've discussed.  We'll soon wrap this up and our next study will be the Gospel of Luke.  I've started reading "The Wisdom Jesus" by Cynthia Bourgeault, and think maybe I'll have a book discussion on that for our next Sunday series.  Can you tell I'm well rested and ready to roll?

Just the last bit of wonderful news from my autumn is that my friend Sandi got a new Kindle for her anniversary, and she has given me her old one, already loaded with maybe 100 books, mostly detective novels!  What fun I'm having with it!  What a generous heart, for her to give me such a wonderful gift.  So I'm reading Steig Larssen's third ("The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" -- I was waiting for it to come out in paperback), and next is the Sue Grafton "U" book.  Yay!  Lots of fiction to supplement the nonfiction that I'm also enjoying.

Now the colors are changing in my yard, and I'm about to uproot my dear veggie garden and reduce it in size by about half.  I'll keep the rhubarb, grapes, and herbs, and try to coax the asparagus to life again next spring.  But it's being reduced from a large, rectangular plot, to a smaller triangle.  The dear parishioner who built my gate is going to help me move my fence, and I've got to get out there and weed and remove the raised beds, so the job can be simply done.

I'm sure all of you are stopping to enjoy the fall.  Take time just to be in a few delicious moments -- as many as possible.  You'll never live these particular days again!

Holiday Weekend

Wow!  I checked a lot of categories; I guess I have a lot to say tonight.  It's the eve of a holiday for me -- not exactly a "holiday weekend," as my title implies, but a day off my normal routine, at least.  Ordinarily, it would have been Friday, Saturday, and Monday off, with only the morning service at church.  But this week I had a wedding rehearsal on Friday (with rehearsal dinner afterward), the wedding itself Saturday morning (with reception luncheon afterward), and two sermons to write, one for the wedding, one for Trinity Sunday at church.  So all I get is a day, but ah, what a lovely day I've got planned!  But sigh -- I don't think the weather is going to cooperate -- 60% chance of rain tomorrow. 

When I was a little girl, my mother and I would go camping on Memorial Day Weekend; it was the opening of the summer camping and recreation season.  Our habitual haunt was Raccoon Lake State Recreation Area, about 1/2 hour from our home.  We would set up our tent in a campsite just inside the edge of the woods, so there was plenty of shade, and plenty of trees from which my mother would string rope to hang large sheets of plastic.  The plastic sheltered our campsite from rain, but also from any debris that might fall from the trees.  It made a cozy, covered "living space" under which we'd place our picnic tables, our food and supplies, and our Coleman camp stove.  The campfire would be outside the plastic "roof," of course.  My camping memories are lovely ones, but it nearly always rained on Memorial Day weekend.  There was usually enough sunshine and warmth to make the adventure worthwhile, but yes, we got rain, too.  Memorial Day Weekend was always punctuated with the plip, plip, plip of raindrops on the plastic overhead, with a wet sleeping bag where our canvas tent got wet, and the need to wear warm jeans, socks, and a sweatshirt, rather than the brand new swimsuit and flip flops I had for the summer. So tomorrow will remind me of my childhood camping days, I fear.

Some of the things I've planned I can still do inside, rather than outside on my porch:

A little creative work can certainly be done inside, though I confess that it really feels more like carefree play when I'm on the sunny back porch.

But there are also lots of things that can't happen inside, and almost certainly won't happen.  I can't really burn my brush pile at all, because we got a couple of downpours today.  It really takes 2-3 days of dry weather to dry out my brush well enough to burn, especially since some of it is still fairly green and recent trimming, and some fair-size logs that I pulled out of the wood chips that were given to me.

I'm not going to want to wrestle wood-chip mulch for my labyrinth in the rain.

I'm not sure even one whole day could make much progress in my veggie garden.  I was actually going to pay someone to come and help me clear out the jungle that it has become, but he called a couple of days ago and said he's been in an auto accident, and now he really can't help me.  If I still want help, I'm going to have to find someone else.  Of course, the pouring rain is a pretty good time to pull weeds -- lots of nice, soft earth, if I don't mind getting filthy and soaked (but that's the gardener's lot, anyway!).

So this probably isn't going to happen for me tomorrow, but I may get something done:

Oh, my, but it looks so lovely and orderly!

But perhaps I'll get a run with the dogs in between rain showers.  My weight loss is continuing; I'm still keeping my rules about increasing activity and eating salads and not drinking alcohol (though I had 2 glasses of wine at the wedding rehearsal dinner).  I'm a little frustrated because I seem to have hit a plateau last week, despite good behavior (I do expect it after 14 pounds, and am surprised it didn't come sooner!), and now over the weekend, I ate and drank more than I should have, even though I came home and was a perfect little paragon of dietary virtue.  So that scale isn't really budging just now -- but it will again, O it will!  A new indulgence I've discovered is Crystal Light Sunrise Tangerine Strawberry.  Oh, yum, yum.  I've known about Crystal Light since the first time I went to Weight Watchers in 1989, but I never tried it until just a couple of weeks ago.  Oh, my.  Oh, yum.  It kind of reminds me of having a pitcher of Kool-Aid around when I was a young married girl.  My only caution is that I can just about overdose on Aspartame, if I'm not careful.  And despite what I heard at Weight Watchers oh, these many years ago, it really doesn't substitute for good, clear, filtered water.

Today, of course, I preached on the doctrine of the Trinity, since it's Trinity Sunday.  If you're even slightly interested, I highly recommend Karen Armstrong's latest, The Case for God.  She does a really, really great job of describing the development of the doctrine of the Trinity, which was originally intended as a spiritual exercise that, rather than being fully understood, was meant to show us how utterly incomprehensible God actually is.  We were never meant to understand the Trinity.  And furthermore, faith originally had little to do with intellectual comprehension and agreement, but rather with loyalty and commitment.  Whether I understand the Trinity, whether I agree with the Church's doctrine of the Trinity, I stand behind and within it, and I commit my whole being to the Triune God and the teachings of Christ.  That's all that really matters!

While we're talking about books, I'm also listening to a really great one.  Most of my fiction "reading" is done in the car as I drive on my daily errands, visits, and meetings.  I'm currently listening to The Help by Kathryn Stockett.  It's one I can barely "put down" -- I want to just keep driving and driving so I can hear more and more of this story.

So tomorrow I plan to sleep in (which seems to mean about 7:30 these days, since I go to bed so early), get some exercise, and do some creative work.  I plan to play a lot and work just a little.  I might get some yard work done.  I feel very grateful for this good little life of mine.  I hope you all have something delicious planned for your day off!

Hello, I'm Back -- Again! Lent, Easter, & Related Topics

Well, I'm posting again at the request of my friend Sharon -- who is keeping me from running off the rails, blogwise.  I don't have photos to share -- at least when I post photos, I feel as though I'm giving you something besides my own narcissistic ramblings.  But oh, well, today that's what you get.

What was I thinking I might say about a stressful Lent?  Lots of obligations, I think, a book study group that went very well, but on about the 4th reading, I wasn't really happy with the book (Richard Foster's "A Celebration of Discipline").  There were a number of surgeries and hospitalizations that merited visits in addition to the normal Lenten stuff.  Planning for everything:  flowers, candles, Holy Week services -- I love all those things, and have people who assist, but it's really still a massive effort on the part of this small, sleepy retirement parish, and some of my usual "assistant planners" also have their own life stressors, primarily personal illness and ailing spouses or family members.

But finally, we got to Holy Week.  Oh, my.  At 3 am on Palm Sunday I got a call from the hospital: a parishioner had died and his widow was asking for me.  I had been up late the night before, finishing my Palm Sunday sermon and just messing around -- I found I stayed up late lots of nights during Lent, because the busy schedule left me little time for reflection and relaxation, and I tended to grab that time late at night.  In any event, I found myself at the hospital before 3:30, holding the widow as she wept, praying prayers for the dead and anointing my parishioner/friend who died so suddenly.  The time around death and funerals is a very holy time for me, and while I was exhausted, I knew that I was fulfilling my highest calling when I was with the widow at the hospital that night.  Home for another 2 hours' sleep, and then up and off to church for a service we only do once a year (those invariably make me a little nervous, I want to get them just right), and instead of being able to process outside with our palms this year, it was raining, and so we started in the parish hall and simply proceeded down the hallway to the church proper (which we Episcopalians call the nave).

Palm Sunday is the first day of Holy Week, and Holy Week is the busiest (and often most stressful) in a priest's life.  We had services on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (2 services), Saturday (2 services, with the unexpected funeral scheduled for that day), and then on to Easter Sunday.  Counting Palm Sunday, I had 5 sermons to write and preach in that time.  I also had another parishioner who had surgery the week before in a town 1/2 hour away, and I needed and wanted to visit her.  And at the office, there were all the preparations -- service leaflets, church arrangements (again, I certainly didn't do it all, but I had to supervise and coordinate it all), two receptions (after the funeral, and after the Great Vigil of Easter, on Saturday night) to make sure all was well.

Through this all, the owls (to which I referred you in the last post) kept me sane.  Molly has been such a good mom, and McGee has been such a good provider for the family (owls mate for life, or nearly so, you know).  The chicks (we got 4 out of 6 eggs -- the 1st and last didn't hatch) are growing like weeds, and may begin flying lessons soon.  Literally millions of people have visited their site, including numerous classes of elementary and middle school kids.  I wonder how many zoologists this experience could spawn.  Yes, I've been a little obsessed, a little enamored by them.  But they really are one aspect of the Easter story -- life blooms and grows and continues, generation after generation.

But I'm telling you:  this was probably the most profound and meaningful Holy Week I've almost ever had -- certainly one of the top 2 that I've had in the 7 Easters I've been here at this church.  Palm Sunday was a blur (on maybe 4 hours' sleep), but the Holy Week services were incredibly moving.  Our bible study is focusing on the book of Exodus, and the parallels for me on promise and deliverance, slavery and freedom, and God's hand reaching down into the course of human affairs, really, really moved me profoundly this year.  If you haven't read Julian of Norwich's "Revelations of Divine Love," or "Showings," you really should.  She had mystical visions of the crucifixion that are initially somewhat disturbing, but which ultimately make her well-known phrase, "All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of thing shall be well," something we all need to hear.

I took Monday and Tuesday off -- it was all so intense that my neurological circuits were fried.  Then Wednesday we had a healing service that was like no other.  This small Wednesday service is one of the high points of my week (along with the bible study that follows it).  I love anointing people for healing, laying on my hands and praying especially for them and those whose concerns are on their hearts.  I don't know what happens, exactly, but it is profound, and was more profound than usual this week.  I had my newly widowed lady (who has NEVER attended this service) and another couple who had never attended, the wife of whom had surgery for cancer today.  Oh, my, such raw pain and need for healing, and everyone there (all the "old regulars") felt it, too.  It was a really, really holy time.

I think I'll talk about me -- my own feelings about my winter weight gain, what I'm doing about that, etc. another time.  I still feel as though I'm standing barefoot on holy ground when I write about Holy Week.  The last 3 days, especially (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), and then Easter Sunday, were so transcendent for me, so redolent of life and death, of slavery and freedom, of promise and fulfillment.  All the rest, including this beautiful spring on the Plateau and my languishing veggie garden, will have to wait until at least tomorrow.  Maybe I can even get some pictures to break up this "wall of words" for you!

Please, those of you who care about the Christian yearly cycle -- remember that we do celebrate FIFTY days of Easter!  It's as important as the twelve days of Christmas!  Keep celebrating!  How can you NOT when spring is here??

Helloooo Out There!

Oh, my, where does the time go?  A whole year has come and gone since I wrote on this blog!  Well, at least the date has turned over to 2010.  My only excuse is that I had an absolutely abysmal Advent, Christmas was fine, but gone in a flash (the whole Twelve Days!), and there doesn't seem to be the lull I expected between Epiphany and Lent.  We've had the Bishop's visit last Sunday (I also celebrated my 10th anniversary of ordination to the priesthood), tomorrow is the annual parish meeting, and next Saturday is our vestry retreat.  For non-Episcopalians, the vestry is like the parish council or board; we meet monthly, but once a year we take the better part of a day to do a little self-evaluation, planning, and envisioning for the next year, as well as to orient new members.  Of course, for each of these big events, there's a lot of planning and preparation that I also do, so it keeps me hopping.

As for the abysmal Advent:  I don't know exactly why or how that came to be, but almost without realizing it, a few days before Christmas, I realized I was very depressed -- so much so that I knew that I needed to monitor myself carefully, and if it continued, get some help and medication.  I think a lot of things came into play all at once, including, of course, post-Italy-adventure letdown.

In any event, on Christmas Eve I woke up, and suddenly everything was all right again.  It felt like a peaceful Christmas Eve morning, and I had energy, and my mood was fine.  I spent the day decorating my house (I had my tree up, and the rest of the decorations in from the garage, but hadn't had the energy to decorate), including hanging some tinsel garland outside (I don't do outdoor lights) and buying a new garland for my front door wreath, with little mittens on it.  Very cute.  I did some grocery shopping, including a turkey roast (with light and dark meat -- perfect!), a duck (frozen -- to cook on New Year's), and a beef rib roast.  I had gifts to open from family, and especially, as always, from my generous friend Cheryl, who is the best gift-giver I know.  I had a festive little house.  My sermon was done, and my time was my own until some time before the 10 pm Christmas Eve service.

I had a great week after Christmas, doing some intensive journaling, reviewing 2009 and preparing for a new decade.  I started a new book, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, and I'm still reading it, little bit by bit, savoring just a page or two at a time.  Her language is beautiful, and she captures that time of transition and discernment so well.

Now my decorations are mostly down (though not completely packed up and put away).  I tend to leave the predominantly red, white, and silver stuff out through February, when I begin to switch over to green for spring and St. Paddy's day.

I will continue my Italy travelogue another day.  I'm still working my way through it all.  But here's a photo I'll leave you with -- my creche for Christmas 2009-10.

I hope you can get a clearer image if you click on it.  I didn't put all my critters there, but the dragon on the roof of the stable is new, and I'm not sure I used the airplane (also on the roof)  Elvis and Santa are there, as usual, along with the snack truck, the street lights, and the little mouse, offering the baby Jesus his piece of cheese.  It makes me smile every time I walk by.

I will also leave you with one Italy shot:

I ate lunch here one day, just outside Altavilla Milicia, which is about 20k from Palermo (Sicily).  It's a great story that I promise to tell one of these days.  The trees in the foreground are lemon trees -- the lemons are green in Sicily -- and that blue line at the horizon is, of course, the ocean.  The restaurant owner gave me a bag of lemons, right off the trees, which I took back to my landlady in Palermo.  What you can't see off the far right edge of the photo is a line of several attached cottages -- kind of like old-fashioned motels used to have.  Now I didn't ask, but I'm convinced that at least some of them are summer vacation rentals, and my fantasy is that I will spend my retirement winters in one of those cottages, writing books and walking my dogs to the seaside every day.

Incidentally, at midnight in Palermo, it's 55 degrees F and partly cloudy right now.  As a man said on the train one day, "Ahhh, Eeetaly!"